Thinking Ahead (Planning Ahead)

I desperately create
a less beautiful bond

rushing, rushing
frantic

for fear that loneliness
will crash the barrier
and engulf me.

Don't fret, my heart
I will not let go
as between the cracks
in our impenetrable grasp
I give up the part of us that
would have deceived.
I leaked it out
through our entwined fingers
along with my solitude.

Bereft, I crave you
as you stand
at your distance
meshing our hearts
seamlessly; willing them
unconsciously to beat in sync.

All the while
I fashion the reality where
the rest of me will take place.